Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Movie Review

In the movie, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, from the different flashbacks and fears displayed, Oscar has a fear of anything that could cause potential harm him or is unsafe. His phobias include a fear of bridges, elevators, trains, swings, and anything loud in a public place. Although, once his dad dies in 9-11, some may think that Oscar has major depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, or his possible autism is growing stronger, but I believe that Oscar fully develops a borderline personality disorder (BPD), which greatly impacts him.

One of the symptoms that Oscar continually displays is a fear of abandonment, and not being able to face being left alone. When Oscar is with his grandpa, he tells him to not leave him, and them becomes frantic when he finds himself all alone. Instead of reaching out to his mother, Oscar continually reaches out to his grandmother, mostly at night for a source of comfort. This is due to the fact that Oscar feels alone and abandoned by his mother since she is always at work or sleeping as he tells her. Oscar never displays having a deep relationship with his mom (except at the end), but has a deep relationship with his dad, as he was constantly active in his life, influencing him. Thus, Oscar developed a deep bond with his dad that he could not bring himself to loose, even when his dad was dead. Oscar was not willing to face reality but searches throughout the entire movie to extend his “eight minutes” with his dad. In the violent conversation with his mother, when he awakes her, Oscar covers his ears and will not listen to his mom and tries to “make sense” of what happened to his dad, to find some reasonable explanation, and cannot accept the fact that there is not one. Although, in the end, Oscar learns that there is nothing he can do to bring his dad back and that he must face the reality instead continually searching and let go.

Another symptom that Oscar displays is his change of character in conversations. One minute he can be loving and kind, and the next, be cussing and yelling at you, as he did to his grandfather and mom. Oscar hates to be rejected, so he has difficulty trusting others, and often retreats in conversations into different schemas (punitive parent, abandoned child, angry child, and detached protector) to try to cope with the stress and anxiety of his life and situations. Oscar tries to appear to others to be fine on the outside, but inwardly, is overwhelmed with grief. His mother tries to help him, but appears hopeless in reaching her son.

In addition, Oscar feels at times, when he is alone, that he cannot cope with the pain so he instills self-destructive behavior. Oscar performs this physical harm by creating welts all over his skin for a form of escape. Part of his self injury is caused by his miscued sense of identity. Oscar feels that it he is “bad” for not being brave enough for picking up the phone to answer his dad, so he thinks he must ask for forgiveness or self-inflict harm on himself. Even when his dad was alive, Oscar once refused to try to swing, which then made him immediately covering his ears, and burying his head, telling his dad not to be disappointed or upset with him. Oscar reacted in fear thinking that since he refused his dad’s wish, he would be rejected by his dad. In all, Oscar carries a heavy burden of guilt by how many times he says, “I have never told anyone..”. This relates to the image Oscar carries of himself to be unworthy, and since he cannot accept even himself, he does not expect others to accept him as well, making him hide.

One of the other symptoms that Oscar demonstrates is impulsive in behavior which forces him to face his phobias. Usually, Oscar is too afraid to go by himself, to travel, or to meet new people. Although, he is compelled to overcome his fear as he is more desperate to search for the missing piece of his dad that he longs for. Oscar lets nothing stand in his way; not even school, people, distance, so he continually lies about his trips out of the house to others.

Since Oscar’s mom has no idea at first on how to help her son, she must begin her own journey of finding her son’s heart. By investing time, and becoming active in her son’s life, and what he cares about, Oscar’s mom eventually wins his trust by giving him time and becoming a safe, accepting place.

In this movie, I felt that the disorder was effectively portrayed by an amazing cast that made it completely believable to the audience.  I was very moved by this movie, as I understand how children cannot cope by themselves with traumatic events. They desperately need parents to help, and need to know that they are a safe place. I plan on becoming a junior high teacher, and feel that this movie will greatly help me to understand and have compassion on my students that may be struggling with similar issues.